What Most African Men ACTUALLY Mean by Submission in Marriage

by Uche Onegeria 20 Mar , 2017  

We hear and see men applaud the biblical submission like a holy grail but what do most African men actually mean by submission in Marriage?

1. The wife has to be a puppet to be the perfectly and completely submissive wife

Before I continue with a rundown of my list, let me remind us all of what the biblical submission states;

22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.30 And we are members of his body.

31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Source: Biblegateway)

Summary: A very close friend of mine reminded me that this passage has 2 parts; Submission, for the ladies (highlighted above in pink) and Love for the men (highlighted above in blue). When we read it together, he realized that there are more instructions for the men than the women to follow but there seems more focus and emphasis on the women’s part than the men’s parts. That makes us have a lot of women who submit or who understand the meaning of submission or who have been threatened by the “submission mandate” but who maybe end up with men who do not have any care in the world for loving them back or do not care to obey their own biblical instruction on loving their wives like Christ loves the church.

My list continues……..below

2. Bow down

Source Wikihow

3. Bow lower….fall at my feet


4. Like children, Women are supposed to be seen not heard


5. You do like I say, not like I do: I club and hang out with the boys (and some women) at night and you look after the home.


6. You don’t question my orders. Yes sir!


7. You have to cook whether you like it or not

Source: History.org

8. Be all-round-the-clock (no rest kinda) homekeeper; nanny, cleaner, cook, sex slave……………


9. Here’s what happens, if you don’t submit to me

I remember 5 years ago when I was on the phone with one of my girlfriends and there was a lot of commotion from her end. When I asked her what happened, she told me one of her neighbours just beat up his wife for not washing and cleaning around the house. And guess what? His wife had a baby a few days before and found it hard to get back to her routine but her husband would have none of it. He asked her if she would be the 1st woman ever to have had a baby before. The sad thing is that during their commotion, they injured their new born baby boy which heightened the situation and got their neighbours involved.


10. This could also happen, if you don’t submit to me; You’d be sent out of your matrimonial home.


If you submit to a man who does not love you, you marriage will fall like a pack of cards. That is what the bible says, not me! Only a few men understand submission to mean what the bible actually makes it to be and keeps their own part of the bargain to “love their wives just like Christ loves the church”. They both go hand-in-hand my dear bible readers!!

Thanks for reading and may God bless us all.



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