MUST READ! 10 Best Ways to Fall in Love and Stay in Love

by Uche Onegeria 8 Nov , 2016  

1. Know yourself first
If you do not know yourself, you will only complicate your life and their lives by getting involved with them. As easy as this sounds, “facing our true selves(weaknesses, strengths, flaws and beauty) and accepting them can be one of the hardest things for all humans. It gets nearly impossible to try to work through them.

Are you a party animal, liar, stingy, selfish, generous, tolerant, patient, calm, murderous rage, kinky lover, impatient, quick tempered…? When you know these, you might understand how these would affect the dynamics of your relationship. This will also enable you to recognize when it is your own action that is stirring up problems in your union, and actually help you take responsibility.

2. Find the right partner that suits your personality type
Like I said, if you want a kinky person and love that, do not let society force you into going for a prude (miss-goody-two-shoes). If you love a super-attractive partner, settling for an average-looking partner will be your downfall as you will seek the pleasures of super-attractive people outside your matrimonial home, thereby frustrating your own partner!


3. Approach your relationship like your job
So many people get into relationships doing the right thing but relax soon after because they “technically will probably never get fired” especially when they are married. It does not matter if you arrive at your home late, are loud, throw a tantrum, abuse your partner, because in your mind, you can never get fired, you just do whatever pleases ONLY YOU.

Did you see what happened right there? You just made it about you. Once this happens, you are asking for trouble. No one pleases only themselves at work. Why will you do that with your marriage? Some individuals are like “Meek-ey” Mice at work but become tigers when they get home.

4. Study your partner like a book
You cannot just assume that they will fall in line, respect your wishes and please you. No two people are the same. They might be closely compatible but will never be exactly the same so you need to find out their pet peeves and everything you can about them. They also have to be willing to share who they are with you. And just like every book has an upgrade, your partner has an inbuilt upgrade as well (every human being does), upgrade to their latest model and be in tune with their needs.


5. Have common goals
We have all heard it before; “a family that prays together”. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail and just like every business environment, there are goals and missions. Your goals cannot just be to have children and have a companion. This ties with my #1 and #2 (unless your partner wants same). Having goals also gives you both a sense of purpose. It could be financial savings goals, business goals, buying a new home goals or planning for a trip overseas goals. In fact, it could be long-term or short term like:
Long term – “We will move out of this small apartment in 5 years” or “Honey, you can get a masters degree to earn more at your job”, then you both work towards it.
Short term – “We promise to go for a romantic dinner date at least once every month”

6. Pay attention to each other

What happens if you do not pay attention to a pot of food that you put on the fire? It burns..and if care is not taken the rest of the house could burn down in the process. (Do I need to be more elaborate than this?).

Source: web

7. Protect each other, no matter what
I will keep going back to my #1 and #2 points. Any couple that gets this right, will understand each other implicitly. That is why you will see a husband defend his wife when family and friends accuse her for being “lazy” or not cooking because he knows that she is more than a cook. Or when family and friends accuse you for being with a jobless husband, and you defend him because you see and trust the huge potential in him more than anyone.


8. Grow together, do things together and review your objectives regularly.
When you spend 40% of your time at work, 30% with your friends, 30% (15% sleeping, 5% idle time…and …) at home, then it is obvious that your partner or family is not important to you. Or maybe you do not think they are worth your time so you do not bother to allocate more than 10% of your time to them. No matter what, you both might as well get a divorce and live apart. At least Adam and Even in the bible sinned against God together…as a team. They were better than you are and they were the pioneers of the marriage union.

9. Even if you do not experience challenges, study the friends around you who do. Discuss how you would cope if some of your circumstances changed.
It is nice when things are going smoothly but we should take a moment to appreciate it all and also prepare for surprises whether good or bad. Those challenges could be in the form of job loss, fidelity, raising difficult children, managing a female nanny, managing in-laws and friends, managing temptations from richer men/promiscuous or difficult boss, the death of either of you etc.

10. Work hard at Empowering each other
– When you are hired by any company, do you know everything? NO! Your partner does not know everything as well.
– When your company wants you to undergo training, do they verbally abuse you or physically attack you to get information into your head? NO!!Enough said! There are also some skills you know which you can teach your partner, be it the use of Microsoft Word/Excel/PowerPoint or the best way to grill meat, be a great public speaker, clean the bathtub or how to be a good writer or learning how to read, drive a car etc.

Your Personal Growth should not CEASE just because you’re Married. The BEST Person to Learn from is your Partner!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>