Dear Press/Media, a List of What I Do Not Want to See in the News!

by Uche Onegeria 23 Apr , 2016  

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1. Lindsay Lohan (You can go ahead and knock yourself out. I tune out everything about her anyway).

2. Which celebrity is dating or getting married (they would break up anyway…NEXT!!!).

3. How big Kim Kardashian’s butt has grown (I would allow for one exception; I only want to know when it has gotten bigger than the size of the African continent).

4. Leaked nude pictures or sex tapes of any celebrity or anyone at all…(If you receive any material like this, burn it please. I’m sure there is enough pornographic materials from willing actors and actresses to keep the perverted groups content forever).

5. Which celebrity has a new perfume (Tell me which celebrity does not have a perfume).

6. What Donald Trump says (I am certain it will be something rude, snarky, and humiliating).

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7. Which celebrity has a baby mama (Tell me which celebrity does not have one).

8. Which celebrity debuts a new hairstyle, wardrobe, child…limb anything at all (How is it my business if Jennifer Lawrence is now a blonde, red-head or…..).

9. Silly lawsuits (I will also allow for one exception as well; when someone sues themselves. I would be surprised if this has not happened already).

10. Anything about celebrities (Don’t you get it?…. I am over them! If I want to see them, I will torture myself with their movies or their songs..or whatever it is they do. I do not need to live, breathe, eat, drink, pray them as well. I also do not want to see them with/without make-up, who wore it best, who stole whose looks, who rocked a bikini, who gained 1 kilogram, who believes in Judas Iscariot, who worships a damn spoon, who supports Obama, who wipes their tush with feathers, who was sighted on the streets of New York or crossing the road like a damn chicken, who stopped for ice cream or went to the gym, who lost their pregnancy body in one second….*whew*… We graduated High School but moved into the “World High School”. Stop it!!)

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  1. Lol. But that's what will make ur blog popular. Celebrity gossip will always sell whether the story is true or not. And that Trump guy is so rude and a racial. I wonder y pple even vote for him.

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