Amazing! Nigeria Plans to Create 400,000 Jobs by Manufacturing Pencils

by Uche Onegeria 11 Mar , 2016  

Hooray! I have got news for you. One word “PENCILS”!

The pencil manufacturing process
Images merged from Google

North Korea manufactures nuclear warheads, Uganda will produce solar-powered buses, the United States of America is working on sending a manned mission to planet Mars (Omg! I can go on….and on….and…. Ok, I know you get it so I will stop) and (drumrolls) Nigeria plans to start manufacturing pencils by the year 2018. Yay!!

 

The pencil manufacturing process (Images merged from Google)
Do not raise your eyebrows! Don’t you dare!! Nigeria has always imported pencils and with the increased foreign exchange rate, the government is trying to diversify the economy. We have to manufacture something so why can’t we start from satellites erhm sorry “pencils”.
They claim we have all the raw materials to manufacture pencils available in the country. They claim that Nigeria’s entire manufacturing industry decreased from 18% in 1982 to under 12% today. They also claim that pencils will be the first of several products that is planned to be manufactured domestically (At least we are starting something. Poor start though).
They also claim that six-cylinder engines is the next item on this phantom list to be manufactured (from pencils to six cylinder engines, that’s quite a giant-sized leap. What about all the pens and markers that we can manufacture in between? I have many great designs in mind lined up after our dear cute, tiny, whimsy, little pencils. You have no idea. Six-cylinder engines? My head is reeling from the high-jump. My life is ruined. In fact, I am battling depression for life…..*thoughts trail off*. Get me Dr. Phil!).
Image from the web

Mckinsey Economists also claim that the Nigerian manufacturing industry could yield about $144 billion a year by 2030 (an increase of $35 billion in 2013). No Way! Wait! Are we going to be alive then to witness this mystery? 

A Nigerian journalist Emmanuel Uchenna Ugwu labelled this idea a “dubious joke” and also said;

“It is a pity that Nigeria is fantasizing about the made-in-Nigeria pencil in this age. That the government of Nigeria is projecting the coming pencil as a sort of technological revolution shows that Nigeria has recorded satisfactory success only in insulting and betraying its potential.”

(Did he make any sense to you? I hate big grammar. More head reeling…I feel a migraine coming).

I have to give it to my brother, Emmanuel. This article would not be credible if one of us does not throw dirt all over it. I was going to do that (or did I already? My head is still spinning from the “pencils” to “seven or was it six, five, fifteen *who cares* cylinder engines” extraordinary ascent into the sky moon) but Emmanuel did that for me. Whew. Thank you Emma!

Images merged from Google

On a serious note, at least we have started manufacturing something. Let us wait and hope that this flickering flame will not be extinguished before it flares to life. Fingers crossed, fingers crossed. (Talks self to sleep while sobbing with disappointment that we will miss all those pens and markers by flying from manufacturing pencils to sixty cylinder planes engines).

Edited from CNN 

6 Comments

  1. I remember my shock the first day i heard the news: Pencils??�� At this day & age when nations are building drones and a company is developin a sightseeing spaceship and we dare to come up with this?? Our leaders are truly jokesters.
    Don't get me wrong, i understand that even the toothpicks we use in this country are imported but that does not mean that we need to show ourselves as the clown of the decade by announcing that us increasing our manufacturing sector is going to start from pencil production. Im sure nobody has even done a competitive advantage analysis yet. I won't be surprised when the Nigerian pencils cost N30 each because we would probably cut down trees just to make pencils meanwhile our competitors are using the waste from other woodworks to make pencils

  2. Hahaha @ Chidisblog, cutting trees to make N30 pencil. We can only hope for better.

    @ Onegeria, It is almost funny. Anyways, Nigeria, my dear country where impossible is nothing.

  3. Could stop smiling while reading…. But seriously we have been bitter for not manufacturing anything locally, pencil is not such a bad idea. Who knows next will be toothpicks, match sticks etc. Doesn't mean we re technologically retarded.Shalom

  4. Exactly at competitive advantage. We jump from dreams to reality without performing any analysis. And they will be quick to say how many jobs will be created and how much revenue would be generated. Yet the state of the economy remains the same.

  5. Hahaha!!! From pencils to toothpicks to matchsticks. You're even going back. Any hope of blenders and some home equipments? Donald trump is right! We need to be re-colonised. Lmao!

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